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javawithcream
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Country: United States
State: Kansas
Metro: Kansas City
Interests: Sailing, O.A.R., VACO, Matt Nathanson, Music, coffe, Reading, Macs, Biology, Beer & Wine, Health, Education, my "kids", subarus, the outdoors, spirituality, growth, planning the demise of the Chemistry department...
Expertise: I'm a professional procrastinator. I dabble in aquatics. I hope one day to be an expert nurse. I was a beer snob and quite proud but then I developed a gluten allergy and that went straight out the window. Oh yeah, I'm also an expert at making an idiot of myself in front of high school kids most summers.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Medical
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  jhawksailor29
Member Since:
8/18/2004
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| New beginnings...require new blogs.
I've moved, after 3.5 years here, I'm ready for the more adult look of blogger. Besides, it's powered by Google and I have a special love for Google. It's taking over the world and I love it.
http://courtneykasun.blogspot.com
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| Damn right.Who's got two thumbs, passed the NCLEX in 75 questions, and will soon be issued a license to practice nursing in the state of Missouri?
That's me, bitches.
You may call me Courtney Kasun, RN, BSN.
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| The entry I was going to write...... the positive, I love my job and humanity entry may be totally lost.
"The anger that comes over you when you feel you've been left out"
I love St. Joseph. I have for a long time. I think they treat their patients well and I've generally though they treat their employees well. My I love the world entry was going to stem from these facts and what I've witnessed since I started working.
But things have changed a bit and I'm pretty pissed off.
I was told yesterday that my entire working situation would be changing on Monday. 4 days before the change and 2 days before my NCLEX, my job has suddenly become very different.
One of the things I always hated at KUMed was floating. I hated being sent to other units. In general, I disdain med-surg floors. I happen to like the one I work on, but it's different than others. It's not just the medicine, it's the team, my co-workers, the patients. In addition to my general med-surg disdain, floating means you never know where anything is. Finally, floating often means you get crapped on. You go to a different floor where you're not part of the team, where they won't have to see you day after day, and you get the shit assignments.
And starting Monday, my entire unit will be closed. We'll essentially be floating to whatever unit needs us. I'm just starting to find my way around, to learn where things are, and now it's all going to change.
The thing I hate the most in hospital nursing, the job I would have never taken, has become my new existence. And without so much as warning.
The even better part is that I may or may not actually be needed on other floors. I've already got my schedule planned out until September 5th, and I already have things planned around this schedule. But other floors might not need me on the shifts I've signed up for. So I'm going to likely have to work whatever schedule I can, whenever I can. IF I can. It's possible I might not be able to get all of my shifts in.
So beyond the fact that I'm excessively pissed off, I'm terrified. When I come off orientation in a month, I might not be able to afford to live. I may not be able to support myself. And that pisses me off even more. For most of the nurses I work with, such a situation would adversely effect them, but at least they have husbands or families in the area. They've also been out of school for more than a second and have had an opportunity to save up. My family is 1000 miles away. I've not even had a chance to start thinking about getting out of debt let alone save up.
So, this is why I can't write my happy, optimistic, I love St. Jo essay. Because I'm not really sure I do right now.
And it's times like these, when work sucks, when I'm already terrified of taking the NCLEX, and when I'm tired as hell of missing someone who is half a world away, it's times like these that make me really miss Jeff and Kevin. It makes me miss these people who feel like home to me, who will listen to me, let me bitch, give me a hug, and say the right things.
If I didn't have NCLEX tomorrow, I would get in the car and drive. Perhaps to St. Louis to see my nearest family, or maybe to Denver or Chicago. I would drive and chill the fuck out, but I can't.
And since I can't, I'm going to sit at home, drink wine, not study, and definitely avoid contact with people.
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| I kept promising...... at least one person who reads this a more substantial entry.
this is NOT it.
I am overwhelmed.
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